No Such Thing

The offer is simple: we buy you lunch in exchange for a short conversation. Starting with a menu of questions, we talk about what’s happening in the world, in our lives and stuff that’s playing on our minds. There’s always a ‘Today’s Special’ from that day’s news.

The conversations are one-to-one, lasting half an hour (ish).

No Such Thing began in 2012 in a curry café in Manchester City Centre. Since then, Quarantine have had around 500 conversations over 500 lunches with 500 strangers.

No Such Thing takes place at four cafes over four weeks. 

Please note that as this event takes place in functioning cafes, we're unable to control the surrounding environment, including noise and lighting. Other customers will be in the cafes during the conversations.

Jimmy Griddle

During the first week, from 16 February, No Such Thing takes place at Jimmy Griddle. 

A classic greasy spoon cafe situated on Battersea Park Road, Jimmy Griddle is a popular neighbourhood spot for delicious, quick and easy food with an extensive menu of breakfast and lunch options. A properly traditional caff, Jimmy Griddle has 10 tables sitting close together within a small space, with the till and kitchen situated at the back.

186 Battersea Park Rd, London SW11 4ND, United Kingdom

The Latchmere bus stop LU is 5-minute walk from the cafe, and Battersea Park train station is a 15-minute walk away. If you are coming by car, there is some parking on the opposite side of the street (although not directly outside), and a pay and display in nearby Culvert Road.

Please note, there is no step free access to Jimmy Griddle. The bathroom is not wheelchair accessible. Guide dogs are not permitted, and there are no baby changing facilities. Vegetarian lunch options are available.

Viet Caphe

During the second week, from 23 February, No Such Thing takes place at Viet Caphe. 

A charming Vietnamese cafe on St John's Hill, Viet Caphe serves a mixture of delicious hot vegetarian, fish and meat dishes (including rice bowls, noodles and pho) as well as hot drinks, pastries and traditional Vietnamese coffee. The order point is to the right as you enter.

127 St John's Hl, London SW11 1SZ, United Kingdom

Viet Caphe is a six-minute walk from Clapham Junction station, with both underground and overground connections. The closest bus stop is Plough Road (stop C) where routes 37, 39,87, 156, 170, 337, 639, and 670 all stop. 

Please note, there is a small step up into the cafe. There are tables both inside and outside, at pavement level. Wheelchair access is limited to the outdoor tables. There is paid-for street parking available nearby. There is one bathroom at the back of the cafe.  Vegetarian options are available. Viet Caphe is dog friendly.

Pique 

During the third week, from 2 March, No Such Thing takes place at Pique. 

An upmarket brunch spot over the road from Battersea Arts Centre, Pique offers delicious sandwiches, wraps and larger breakfast and lunch meal options. This is a popular spot for families, residents of Lavender Hill, and is dog friendly! A light and airy space, Pique has approximately 12-14 tables situated around a bar/till and kitchen in the centre of the room.

171 Lavender Hill, London SW11 5TE, United Kingdom

Pique is a 10-minute walk from Clapham Junction Station. Like BAC, it is served by the 345 bus stop. 

There is step free access to Pique. There are baby changing facilities on-site, and guide dogs are permitted in the cafe. Please note, as the bathrooms are downstairs they are not accessible to all customers. However, Pique is just across the road from BAC, which is a 1-minute walk away. BAC’s disabled and gender-neutral bathrooms are available for use. Pique offers both vegetarian and Vegan options.

Tom’s Café

In its final week, from 9 March, No Such Thing will take place at Battersea Arts Centre’s very own Tom’s Café. 

Our light and spacious bar and café is a beautiful and creative space, popular with locals, families and creatives, as well as for a pre-theatre drink or bite to eat. A specially curated menu will be available for No Such Thing. 

Lavender Hill, London SW11 5TN, United Kingdom 

Tom’s Café is inside Battersea Arts Centre, just a 7-minute walk from Clapham Junction station. The 345 bus stops outside BAC and the nearest disabled parking spaces are in the Asda Car Park on Lavender Hill. You can find more detailed travel information on BAC's Find Us page. 

The café & bar is located on the ground floor with ramp access from the front or side entrance. There are wheelchair accessible toilets, all-gender toilets and baby changing facilities. Guide dogs are welcome at Tom’s Café. Vegetarian and vegan lunch options will be available.